The nurses waited too long to take the photos. And the reality is that he was gone and things happen to little bodies. Wow.. that is painful to write.
So after our first try at retouching ( which ended in me staring into space for quite some time) i consulted a college friend. Who gave me the name of someone in a photo rescue organization. They actually restore photos for disaster victims.. but made an exception for me. I am eternally grateful because I have been afraid i would forget his face. And to be honest.. the original photos were too much of reality for me. These are better. But still are.. what they are.
He had reddish hair like Gabriel.. but a full head of it. That i didnt know. It sucks to not know. All i have now is a blanket he was wrapped in when he was born, a few ultrasound pictures when he was 18 weeks old, some footprints made in ink and these. I wish i had known that i didnt have more time. I would have spent less time packing during those 9 months and more time singing to my baby.
Francis is so beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog from the babycenter support board. My son had amniotic band syndrome as well and our best guess on a cause of death is that a band wrapped around the umbilical cord. I was 21 weeks pregnant when we found out that he had no heartbeat.
I've done tons of research on amniotic band syndrome, as I'm sure you have. It is comforting to know that it is very unlikely to happen again, but of course I wonder why it happened in the first place.
Well, I just wanted to leave a note on how beautiful he is. And how sorry I am.
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