We got the pictures of Francis in the mail today. A DVD sent by amazing people who worked on them for us so we could see him without at least some of the pain that reality brings.
The nurses waited too long to take the photos. And the reality is that he was gone and things happen to little bodies. Wow.. that is painful to write.
So after our first try at retouching ( which ended in me staring into space for quite some time) i consulted a college friend. Who gave me the name of someone in a photo rescue organization. They actually restore photos for disaster victims.. but made an exception for me. I am eternally grateful because I have been afraid i would forget his face. And to be honest.. the original photos were too much of reality for me. These are better. But still are.. what they are.
He had reddish hair like Gabriel.. but a full head of it. That i didnt know. It sucks to not know. All i have now is a blanket he was wrapped in when he was born, a few ultrasound pictures when he was 18 weeks old, some footprints made in ink and these. I wish i had known that i didnt have more time. I would have spent less time packing during those 9 months and more time singing to my baby.